my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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