worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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