Plan B is the new Plan A
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
