Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
