he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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