no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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