it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
