and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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