You work out of a Hotel?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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