if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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