Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
