Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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