i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
