I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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