Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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