You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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