Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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