lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
