he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
