Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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