I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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