Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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