i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
