Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
