the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
