my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
