My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
