I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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