new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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