I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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