I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I party with great urgency now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
