I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
