Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
