just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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