I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i out mim tonsoeep
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