i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
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