That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
