I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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