If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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