Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
