I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
