VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
