what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I deserve this hangover.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
