Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
