I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
