If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
