I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
ttyl tear gas
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
