he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
