Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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