i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
