yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
